Monthly Antics – May

Hey Everyone!

I have decided that I am going to be doing a blog piece at the end of every month. This will summarise anything awesome that has happened, anxiety experiences, things that made me happy/sad etc. I hope you all enjoy what I have to say, now for May’s Antics :)


This was a stressful month in regards to University work. There were group reports, assignments, tests etc coming out of my ears. At times it really got to me but I just soldiered on. Not much left now until exams which is good. I had a presentation that gave me anxiety, I always tend to feel sick before them but I felt so relieved after that was all done and dusted. I wanted to answer a question in a lecture but my heart started beating a million miles an hour so that was a no go.

For the first time ever I made use of my lecturers office hours. The thought of being in a small area with a lecturer made me undoubtedly nervous, even though there wasn’t a need to be. Everything ran smoothly and I made it through, getting the relevant information from the lecture I missed.

I finally sorted out my cervical smear test. Now that was terrifying. I went by myself and even though I had read up prior to the visit I was still scared about doing it. Now that it is over though, I encourage every women over 20 years to go and get it done. It is not actually as bad as it seems, the nurse talks you through it, then the test is done in less than 5 minutes. I’m proud of myself for doing this, it took me a year to get the courage to do it. (I’m 21 now) Results were back in under 1 week, it came back negative so that was a major relief :) Here is a website that covers pretty much everything on the topic:

Nothing extraordinary really happened this month due to University commitments but this should hopefully change once exams are all done and out of the way. Until next month…

— Colour Me Clueless xx


Part Time Jobs

Hey everyone,

Okay, so I am in a bit of a dilemma here. I want money, so I need a job. Everyone tells me that I need to get a job but I don’t think they actually understand how hard it is to get a job. It’s not just about finding a job either, it’s also about the anxiety that comes with it.

Retail will be the main example I will use. Customer service, talking to strangers, thinking I’m not good enough and will mess up everyday and be looked down upon/fired are common thoughts that come to mind. I am really not good in those types of situations as they flare up my social anxiety and make me really nervous. Don’t even get me started on being interviewed.

I need a job behind doors. One where I’ll probably only have to interact with a small number of the same people, but those do not really pop up in the ‘part time’ category. I can’t wait until I have my degree. I have been looking these past couple of days for jobs that would benefit/suit me but I can’t find them anywhere, especially in NZ.

The types of jobs that come to mind are photography jobs, articles in magazines, photos in magazines, paid blog writing, social media etc. If any of you have any ideas on how to enter those fields/jobs your help would be greatly appreciated. If any of you are looking for someone to fill those kind of job spaces, or even to guest write on your blog, I’m your girl.

Thanks for listening,

Colour Me Clueless xx


Talia Mar – The Voices Are Me

No words. Found this song on YouTube and it is so beautiful. <3


Shop Idea – Yellow Daisy

Hey guys,

I recently just came up with a business venture idea. It’s kind of a home / office decor type situation. I have recently made an Instagram for the idea, just trying to get traffic at the moment, to see if there is any interest out there. Here is the link: If you want to check it out and give it a follow I would be very grateful.

The main goal at the moment like I said is to get some interest going.  If there does end up being some interest, I will then order items, sort out budgets, how I will go about selling those items etc.

The main push for me wanting to create a small online business was actually the show Girl Boss on Netflix, that I may or may not have binge watched yesterday haha. It sparked my interest and solidified the idea in my head that I don’t want to be working for someone, I want to be my own boss. I don’t care if it involves more work than a 9-5 because I guarantee that I would enjoy it a lot more.

Thanks for listening. :)

Yours Truly, Colour Me Clueless xx